This monster is not green, but it is certainly jellus.

Jealousy is one of the most overhyped and dangerous emotions out there, and it has become almost enshrined in popular culture as a pass to do whatever you want.  I would say that after flat-out prudery, jealousy is the biggest barrier to any kind of real, honest discussion of sex.  After all, isn't one of the big caveats thrown up at porn users that their partners are (or should be) jealous of their porn use?  "How can I compete?" is something I have heard more often that I care to remember.  Ignoring the fact that your sex life is not, and should not be, a competition of any kind.

I understand jealousy, I do, but sexual jealousy now seems as foreign to me as Klingon.  I can remember that I used to feel it, but I can't really recall how it felt.  Sometimes that causes problems, especially when writing porn.  After all, sexual jealousy comes up in porn fairly often, and depicting it is something I am called upon to do as a pornographer.  I find this a sticky topic in several ways.

I personally find the frisson between the expectation of sexual fidelity and the total sexual abandon we normally depict in our work to be tremendously interesting, and fertile ground for the kinds of psychological tension that makes sex much more exciting than just bodies rubbing together.  The most alluring sex is the sex you aren't supposed to be having, and if there's not some barrier or element of wrongness to a coupling then it's not going to be compelling.  A pairing that entails a large age difference, or societal barriers like class, race, or even familial relation is much more interesting than just two people getting it on.  It provides that element of inner conflict that makes for a really hot scene.

The fun thing about infidelity is that it is a resource, narratively, that is slow to be exhausted.  Porn is all about the quest for novelty, and one of the problems with an extended story is that the various pairings, positions, and situations can become stale long before the plot is over.  You can try it yourself, try writing a sex scene between two consensually-attracted adults and make it hot.  Then write another one, and another.  Seriously, it gets almost impossible to do after two or three times, if that.

A real life sexual relationship can be enthralling between two people who just like to fuck each other for quite a while.  You can take years wearing the new off that, so to speak, but in a fictional relationship you will find yourself experimenting really fast - anal, sex toys, bondage - all the usual variations will come out as you try to liven things up.  If we're the audience, then we aren't experiencing the sex directly, but vicariously.  Narrative demands conflict, and two people having mutually fulfilling sex is the opposite of conflict.

So we try to create pairings that are fraught with tension and potential for excitement: sex with someone much older or younger, sex with a relative, sex that is coercive or outright forced, sex with imaginary nonhumans, sex between an experienced lover and a virgin - as storytellers we pull out every trick we can.  My favorite, by far, has to be extramarital sex.

The beauty of it is that for a married person, any sex besides what they have with their spouse is the kind they are not supposed to be having.  It gives you a lot to work with.  The beginning of the illicit affair, the trying to keep it a secret, and then - the discovery.

This is where porn will diverge suddenly from the expected, approved narrative.  In mainstream stories, the discovery of infidelity is always followed by breakup, anger, or maybe even violence, right?  Time for tears and recriminations, kids.  Divorce, clothes on the lawn, maybe even a torched car or something, right?  "Crime of Passion" here we come.

But that is the antithesis of porn.  Rage over infidelity is serious, dark stuff, and the kinds of stuff we write is usually not.  Jealousy, in porn, cannot be the main course, but it can be a hell of a garnish.  Even with the adulterous cat out of the proverbial bag, there is endless fun you can have with extramarital sex - all kinds of variations and permutations can be explored, and they are all fraught with tension, because in a nominally monogamous relationship any sex outside of that is out of cultural bounds, and therefore entertaining.

Also, the basic relationship between the couple gives you a solid foundation to build on, and rather than break them apart, in our stories extramarital adventures bring people closer together.  I always find it baffling when breakup is the expected result of infidelity.  I mean really?  That's all your relationship means to you?  Sex?  That's all it was?  I, for one, would like to think my marriage is more powerful than my dick.

That's why you will never see a "typical" jealous reaction in one of our stories.  My real hope is that by depicting a more accepting portrait of infidelity, polyamory, and just generally ditching the priggish "forsaking all others" bullshit, maybe we can make someone, somewhere, a little bit happier with their lives, and that the cultural myth of "Monogamy or GTFO" can be revealed as the painful lie that it is.  There are so many other ways to be.