|Fighting, I Love It|
|Written by Paul|
|Friday, 20 July 2012 08:33|
Max and Russ argue so much that I worry it becomes monotonous, and yet monotony is an indelible feature of relationship arguments, since we tent to argue about the same things over and over, and the sheer boredom/exasperation of it becomes its own factor to the proceedings. But this is not a documentary, this is a story, so I try and make sure their fights always move the story along, even if I am just advancing the story of them and their relationship as it seems to break apart.
Except to a practiced observer, their relationship is obviously not breaking apart, because they are working on a fundamental foundation: they care about each other. All their arguing and blaming and frustration is predicated upon that. It should be noted that people who have known each other for a long time can exercise verbal sensitivity to a brilliant degree. They know exactly what to say to make the other person angry, they know exactly how far they can go. Don't we all, in arguments, know there are things that we cannot say? Things it is verboten to bring up? We all know the buttons are there, but we don't push them because we know it would be tantamount to breaking the balance of terror. You can be damned sure that the other person knows some equally devastating things they could say to you, but they won't if you won't. You could say it, but then you'd be admitting you just want to hurt them, and all bets would be off. Mutually Assured Destruction.
Russ and Max are communicating better, even if they are still not doing that great. Their lives have taken a turn and a lot of hidden crap is being forced out in the open. They are being knocked out of the rut they were in and fall into bad habits less easily in conversation. But when you start being honest, you will have a period where new crap keeps getting dragged out into the light, and people will get angry about it. It's just a stage they have to go through.